Dear Colorado College,
We regret to inform you that our schemes, our shenanigans, our machinations have led us to a realm of success that embeds us in legitimacy. We made up shit too well, lied too convincingly, and all around girl bossed too hard - we are officially a member of Cutler Publications.
Fear not weary travelers. This move will not compromise any of our mission to sow distrust, confusion, and stupidity into our beloved institution. If anything, this move will enable us to more fully accomplish our goals of “creating issues” and “causing moderate to severe discomfort.” For example, this new nifty format you’re looking at has only been made possible by the generous support from Cutler Publications. And somewhere on this very campus there are 12-15 nerdy writer kids who now get to be pieces of shit in every future workplace holiday party by saying one of the cool things they did in college was start a satirical newspaper. So Cutler Publications is truly doing God’s work.
In a matter of days we will have a final decision as to whether or not we will be able to pay writers at The Disincentive, but for now keep sending in pieces. We will read them. We will laugh. You will be published. All of us will continue to not be paid. Heaven gets a little bit closer to a place on Earth.
Email us at editors@thedisincentive.com
Follow us at @the_disincentive on Instagram.
Come find us at parties and kiss us passionately with the emotional depth of someone realizing they’ve finally rediscovered the feeling of coming home.
Yours and yours alone,
The Editors at The Disincentive
