Dear members of The Cutler Board,
As you know with the start of the second semester of the 2023-24 school year we will be welcoming a new publication to our organization; The Disincentive has shown admirable efforts to make the Colorado College community a more joyful, if not more idiotic, place to call home.
We know there have been some concerns with some of their previous practices and I wanted to assure you all that we have received confirmation that their weekly experimentation on Rastall’s food and their bi-weekly open access drug giveaway will be immediately terminated. However, their blockly “Slip n Slide-Jello Shot-Food Drive '' will not be discontinued and now actually include one C list celebrity who I am told will be asked to fight an apex predator of their choice (somehow not an animal rights concern - see attached endorsement from PETA). Any deviation from agreed conduct will result in their immediate termination from Cutler Publications.
Furthermore we have made arrangements to protect the organization’s anonymity as well as the anonymity of the writers they work with. They made an extremely compelling case as to why their anonymity should be protected, but of course the point we found most compelling as voting members was from point 4.2 sub-point c footnote 3b of their application - “Dudes it’s really just integrated into our vibes now.” As you know, as a board we stand bravely against any practice that will fuck with the vibes.
Some changes this allows from The Disincentive include an increased capacity for recruiting practices on campus as well as allowing them to revamp their layout for their blockly editions. President L. Song Richardson, when made aware of this development, said “dope.” We are inclined to agree.
Of course there were elements of their budget request that we were unable to grant to The Disincentive. Unfortunately, Cutler Publications remains in a position with too small of a budget to appropriately fiscally support all on-campus journalism. People with money really should give more to us. To find a list of the finalized approved, pending, and denied funding requests made by The Disincentive, see the reverse of this document.
At the behest of The Disincentive I’m also being asked to share with you a note on their acceptance “Our goal as part of the Cutler Publications board will be to bring known serial killer RoCCy to justice.” For legal reasons I must remind you all that no legal charges have been officially brought against RoCCy and that bloody knives are “part of mascot culture.”
If you have any further questions or concerns regarding The Disincentive’s acceptance please feel free to reach out.
Hope you all have a good winter break,
Zeep Zorp the Overlord
President of Cutler Publications
