Members of Colorado College’s Film and Media department, fans of Sunbutter stand-up comedy, and patrons of Charles L. Tutt library all breathed a collective sigh of relief last May, when CC’s class of 2023 celebrated their graduation with a champagne shower before starting their journeys into the real world as contributing members of society. A large part of the CC community was disappointed, however, when it became apparent that Ben Greenly ’23 would not follow his classmates into the world, but would instead stay right here, in Colorado Springs.
“I didn’t even have time to miss him,” said one rising junior who admitted to not knowing why, exactly, Greenly is still hanging around.
“I’m fine with it, as long as I don’t have to see him in a Speedo again,” said another student, in reference to Greenly’s propensity for skimpy swimwear despite living in a landlocked state.
Upon further investigation, it became clear that, despite popular belief, Greenly is not a 5th year senior but is employed by the Film and Media Department as a paraprofessional. When asked about this controversial decision, FMS faculty declined to comment.
The Ben Greenly in question.
Guest reporters for The Disincentive were, however, able to obtain the names of applicants from the 2023-24 hiring cycle. The list included 37 applicants who all shared the same first name. Further investigation is being conducted to determine whether they hired the wrong Ben.
Since August of 2023, many film majors have reported a surplus of disturbing emails and an uneasy atmosphere in the film garage. Sophia Lisco ’26, spoke to experiencing “the unshakeable feeling that someone is watching her” upon entering Cornerstone Arts Center. This sentiment is shared by a non-insignificant number of other students, who wished to remain anonymous.
Though the students who were most personally familiar with Ben Greenly have moved on to bigger things since graduating, his attempts to reach the current student body have not gone unnoticed. Currently on display in high traffic places on campus such as Packard Hall and Tutt Library— though, notably, not Worner Student Center— are Greenly’s campaign posters for CC’s interim president role. Hoping to seize control of Colorado College for a matter of hours this summer, Greenly has asked for the support of the student community in electing him for this position. This would be the most prestigious title since graduating with “Hall of Fame” status from Littleton High School, which has no rival high schools, and where his girlfriend is still a student.
“The damage that the school would suffer as a result would be unrecoverable,” hypothetically said President L. Song Richardson when asked to comment on the propaganda and potential for Greenly’s rise to a leadership position.