“I never procrastinate on work here because there’s no time. Instead I just choose not to do the work here.”
“Does it still count as sex if neither of us are naked and we’re not actually touching and one of us is actually a fictionalized presence based on a Tinder profile I matched with? OH MY GOD AM I PREGNANT??”
“I think I’ll get a postgraduate degree just because I’m really not ready to deal with the alcoholism yet.”
“I would say I encourage you guys to look into academia but I will also say that it sucks and no one should do it.”
“What is the language that the like Indians spoke before Columbus came?”