Dear members of the 2023 Your Mom’s Honor Society,
Thank you for once again joining us down here in the ditch of Colorado College. We pride ourselves on offering you the unregulated filth and cess you will only find here. In pace with all of the leadership changes happening both at CC and throughout the world, we have important and difficult information to share.
None of us are leaving.
You heard it here first - the job prospects for the editors of The Disincentive are so poor that we’ve decided to take the radical, the brave, the revolutionary decision to just give up. We’re just gonna lie down for a while. We’re planning on just hanging out after graduation. Hell we wouldn’t be the first. There’s not one but TWO guest articles this week about our forefathers (fore-daddies?) doing just that.
You’re probably thinking to yourself - how could people so hot, so funny, so undeniably charismatic not have like an automatic offer to be the new friends of Taylor Swift? Truly, we’re as baffled as you. We were under the impression that we would be able to just appear on the job market and immediately receive the news that, simultaneously, the United Nations, the Peace Corps, The Tonight Show, and the NFL are in an all out bidding war for our employment.
But nooooooo, the Career Center says we need things like “a resume” and “a LinkedIn” and “marketable skills” (and they said this during women’s history month no less? Absurd.)
So yes, we’re just gonna stick around at this school where we're still so deeply protected from the real world. We’re gonna worry about our little meetings, worry about which parties we’ll go to, worry about our silly little papers and paper little sillies. There’s certainly worse places to be.
Like grad school. That’s a worse place.
You can’t get rid of us,
Your Disincentive Editors
