Ariessssssma - Birds are singing. Bees are buzzing. Flowers are blooming. And you, you are crying. Awwww I’m sorry, but it will get better soon! Let your tears moisten the Earth, and start with a soft yet profound confidence entering your next block
Taurusususus - The trees sing, and so do you. And gosh, what a beautiful voice you have, it blesses the ears of anyone who hears it. Except…. for anyone who uses South bathroom while you shower. Keep it to yourself in that instance, no one needs to hear that shit
Geminunima - Spring break, a time many spend partying, on a beach vay-kay, marg in hand. And for you, you will also have a margarita! Only this is to be enjoyed as you overlook spewing lava, and lightning strikes above you. Not sure what that’s about, but enjoy your marg!
Canceranfas - Ah yes, Spring is almost here. And with it, you too shall spring. Spring into a new love of sea snakes. Yes, I can see it clearly, you must share sea snake facts with everyone in your block 7. Blessings
Leoaugchw - I’m sorry, but you have GOT to up your flirting game. You’re never gonna get a partner with questions like “what block are you in” “what did you do over block break” “oh where in Massachusetts are you from?” (we all know it’s JOB anyway). No, to win over your next block crush, you must ask them these. “When did you first see a man cripple under the weight of the world?” “Who was your childhood enemy?” “What’s on your bucket list of beaches you want to smoke weed on?”
Virgoogoo - Going on a spring break road trip? It is essential you bring extra takis. I cannot tell you why, this is a journey for you to watch unfold yourself. Just know, you'll understand more once you’ve met Him
Librahahaha - Go snorkeling, and channel the energy of the Loch Ness Monster. No one is more powerful or mysterious than her, let her spirit wash over you like the waves.
Scorpiomnoms - Toss an orange in the air, watch as it falls and hits your foot. Now turn around three times. Does that solve your biggest problem? If not– woo boy, you’re beyond help, sorry pal
Sagittariworm - Ok now sit, and stay. That’s a good boy! Now wait, wait, you’ve got to wait for the treat.
Capricornyyyyy - Go up to a stranger on campus, and accuse them of being a traitor. What kind of traitor? That’s for you to decide. As things escalate, challenge them to a dance battle. Pull out the worst dance moves you have. Confuse everyone. Disappear into the night.
Aquariugg - Buy yourself your favorite chocolate bar. Now stay in for the night watching your favorite show. Put off all your responsibilities til tomorrow and slay on queen
Piscegg - Basil, pine nuts, parmesan, garlic, olive oil, salt, pepper. Oop I’m sorry, that's not your horrorscope, let me just find that real quick. Yikes! It says you’re going to break your leg break dancing. Ironic isn't it?
November 10th, 2002 - And I ask what does someone have to do to be worthy of your love? Is a love so pure only meant for angels and prophets? Maybe it is not up to me or even to you, maybe a love like that is only up to the gods themselves. But boy, I hope they choose me, I even gave up eating cheese for you.